how to get a girls panties wet:
- kiss her roughly
- shove her down on the bed
- slip off her underwear
- slam dunk em in the toilet
like you know why girls steal their boyfriend’s sweaters? because a $20 sweater for y’all is nicely designed, good colour, provides warmth and lasts through washes but $20 girls sweaters are some gross pastel shit with short hems and short sleeves and get worn out after one spin cycle and they’re thin as shit
you sit down to watch the lion king with me. i point out that leafcutter ants do not live in africa within the first five minutes. you begin to realize that you have made a horrible mistake. i continue to point out every usage of a tiger’s roar in place of a lion’s. you are at the door, but it is locked.